Saturday, June 11, 2011

No news is bad news

I'm reading a book called Half-Assed: A Weight Loss Memoir by Jennette Fulda. It's a brilliant sardonic autobiography of one woman's journey from weighing nearly 400 lbs to dropping more than 1/2 of her weight. Her metamorphosis is bumpy and beautiful. Fulda uses humor to juxtapose the seriousness of her situation. She peaked at 370lbs and faced a life-threatening surgery, but was fueled by the experience and started a weight loss blog called She used a 360 degree photo to chart her progress and to reel readers in. And for some reason, nothing is more fascinating than a large person who invites you to gawk at her weight loss.
Why do we gawk?
Smug superiority. (mean ppl suck.)
What ever the reason, Fulda's a brave toaster for allowing ppl to view her chronicles. I am so inspired by her story and struck by our similarities. One of my favorite nuggets of dieting knowledge is the "No news is bad news on a diet blog" idea.
Cuz it's the truth.
My truth.
I've gained 5 lbs in the last 2 weeks.
If I were going to reject my own accountability and blame everything else, I'd probably start with...
  1. The diet shake I tried. It was very filling and yummy, but at the end of the day when I got cravings, I endulged on (TRUE STORY) Wendy's burgers and fries, 4 doughnuts, and 4 slices of pizza (not all in one day). So, obviously it was not the diet drink. A diet anything needs support from the consumer.
  2. I had a speed scrabble party/BBQ where I had only one hot dog. Yay me, right. Don't get too excited. I also ate 9 oatmeal chocolate chip cookies.
  3. 5-day teacher conference. They fed us breakfast, lunch, and gave us a stipend for dinner. Also, the hotel provided breakfast. This bombardment of food combined with the stationary nature of teacher conferences made for a buffet of challenges. We had (and I've bolded the ones I ate) cookies, brownies, cheesecake, rice Krispies, scones, pasta, lasagna, burritos, breakfast burritos, sandwiches, eggs, yogurt, granola, bread, rice, lo mein, orange chicken, beef and broccoli, sweet and sour chicken, fortune cookies, egg rolls, wontons, orange juice, soda, diet soda, water, steak, sweet potatoes, rolls, cinnamon butter, carrots, salad, pork, chicken sandwiches, peanut m&m's, bugles, toffee peanuts, chocolate almonds, crystal light, banana, apples, muffins, waffles, special K bars, cereal, red vines, swedish fish, calamari, and pretzel bites with nacho cheese.
The blame game only works if there's validity to the claims.
I am responsible.
I am to blame.
I was not strong.
Food is the villain in my story. As protagonist, I should slay the dragon, not eat it. Fulda mentioned that there are foods she's powerless against. My culinary Voldemorts are peanut m&ms, lasagna, some breads, cookies, chocolate nuts, and Chinese food. If my life were a heroic tale, I'd be a tragic hero.
So I have a week.
A week of normalcy where I will try to regain my diet integrity. Try to change my story to a happy ending.
Heroes are flawed. When they come up against an opponent (like deep fried cream-cheese stuffed dough) and can't defeat it, they step back and restrategize before taking another approach.
Heroes have support too. If Buffy taught us anything, it's that Scoobies are a key component to kicking bad guys' butts.
Help me slay my dragon.
Boost me up, readers.
Because, I have a 4 week teaching conference week after next. It's the ultimate battle.The climax of a movie.

In a world of candy and chocolate armies, one girl stands alone in the face of premature death from diabetes or heart failure. Will her readers help her wield the sword at the pasta and Alfredo enemy?

My battle plan this week:
  • Last Chance Workout DVD 5 days a week
  • Count my cals 1200-1500
  • Post every day of my conference what I ate. 
Wish me luck. Buy tickets to the show.


  1. I have a picture like that (standing in one leg of my fat pants--I also lost half my body weight).

    Just remember that 5 lbs or a "bad" eating week isn't the end of the world, and you can always start fresh. And I always have to remind myself to start fresh RIGHT NOW, not tomorrow morning. If I eat chocolate, I could easily say "screw it, I've blown it today. I may as well have some Doritos, too." I have to remind myself that no, I can get back on track right now. Not in the morning.

    Good luck his week!

  2. Oh wow Rena! I had a week almost like that one because I was on vacation and had to feed 8 people (non-dieters) for 6 days. Constantly fixing food. So back to square one for me too. Good luck.

  3. I went to the website because I couldn't help gawking either. My gawking, however, is for two reasons: 1. Morbid curiosity. It's like how no one can look away from a train wreck. Impossible. 2. Inspiration. I've got to get these last 30 lbs. off. It'd be a shame to lose 70 lbs. and then not stay the course and lose the last 30. We got this, Rena! My goal 20 lbs. by the time school starts. Then I'll get to get a whole new wardrobe for school. We'll go on a back to school shopping spree. I'll finally be the "hot" teacher. Adding being hot to my wiles will be asset.

  4. I kinda cheated with this weight loss blog. I didn't dream of starting it until I felt comfortable in my own skin. So not as brave as what Jennette Fulda did. But now I welcome gawkers. It makes my progress easier when ppl say how good I look now compared to then. It makes keeping the weight off easier too.

  5. Jennette emailed me about my blog post, I thought I'd share with you readers:

    Jennette Fulda to me

    show details 1:15 PM (41 minutes ago)

    Hi Lorena,

    Thanks for buying the book! I appreciate the support. Double thanks for posting about the book twice. The title of your blog "Prose-spective" is very clever. It's nice to be getting so many new readers via the Kindle sale.

    Good luck with your weight loss! I hope to see you around the blog.

    Jennette Fulda
    Author of "CHOCOLATE & VICODIN" and "HALF-ASSED: A Weight-Loss Memoir" & @jennettefulda


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