Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Celebrity Interview Tuesday: Jaime Pressly

This is a blog post where REDBOOK asks me the same questions they ask celebrities (whether they want to or not).

February's "MY BIGGEST FAN" celeb is Jaime Pressly, star of the sitcom I Hate My Teenage Daughter, and she used to play Joy, the sassy unlicensed manicurist and mother of Earl's son on My Name is Earl. Questions are asked by Pressly's 4yo son, Dezi, and adapted by Lori Berger on p. 112 of the Feb. 2012 issue of RB. In the spirit of letting a kid interview the celebrity, I've asked my 3yo son, Vin, to interview me too.
This is us a year ago.

ME: Vin, ask me any question in the world.

VIN: ...

ME: What do you want to know about me?


ME: Anything?

VIN: [Dips down to the floor.] Mom, I found something. [Holds up an individually wrapped mint.] Is it mine?

ME: [sigh] Sure.[Vin struggles with the wrapper. I get an idea.] Hey, I'll open it for you, but you have to ask me a question.

VIN: Uh...You are good.

ME: [laughs] OK, but you have to ask me a question. Like...'What is your favorite thing about your kids?'

VIN: Mommy and Daddy and Lanie. [Puts mint in mouth. Makes a face and pulls it back out.] Yucky. Mom, I don't wanna eat this. It's yucky.
Vin and I at Bear Lake last August.

ME: [Sidebar. I'm not getting anywhere with Vin, so I head back to my office. I'll try answering Dezi's questions.]

DEZI: Mommy, you said we don't ever use the word hate, so how come your show is called I Hate My Teenage Daughter?

VIN: [Finds me in the office. Holds mint up to my face.] Hey, mom! This isn't so yucky. [Puts mint in mouth and runs away.]

ME: Um...Well Dezi...

VIN: [Runs back into the office. Strips off the top half of his Batman suit so it hangs from the waist.] Mom, it is kinda yucky cuz I got all sticky! [Shakes hands emphatically. Runs to bathroom. A second later, I hear the water running.]

ME: ...So, Dezi, I have no idea how to answer that. Next question.

DEZI: My favorite book is Go Away, Big Green Monster! What's yours?

ME: My favorite book to read to my kids is There's a Monster at the End of This Book with Grover. My kids love to encourage me to turn the next page even though Grover flips out every time. Did you know Grover does not use contractions when he speaks? True story.

DEZI: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can..."

ME: ...

DEZI: What's your favorite game to play?

Vin and the little girl I babysit.
VIN: [comes back into the office with suit back on. Stands with his back toward me and doesn't say a word. This is the universal sign for "Velcro my suit back together around the neck". I do so. He runs away.]

ME: My favorite game is Couch Balloon. We saw it on an episode of Raising Hope, but we've been playing it since we were kids. You take a balloon and hit it to your opponent on the other side of the couch or in our case we use the ottoman as the barrier. Whoever lets the balloon drop loses. It's a pretty simple game, but the kids LOVE it.

VIN: [Comes in holding a new tube of toothpaste.] Is this new toofpaste?

ME: Yes. It's my new toothpaste.

VIN: You need to get me new toofpaste!

ME: I gave you my old toothpaste. [They ran out of theirs, b/c they leave the cap off, and it dries out. However, my old tube, which wasn't out, has a flip top. So I put it in the kids bathroom.]

VIN: New old toofpaste?

ME: Yep.

VIN: [walks off with head stooped low.]

DEZI: Remember when I visited you at work and I brought you a little Charlie Brown?

ME: No.

DEZI: Linus! And I also brought your three balloons.

ME: For Couch Balloon? Sweet!

VIN: [runs in. Turns around. I re-Velcro his suit, and expect to see him back in 2 minutes or less for the same reason.] Thanks, mom.

ME: I love you.

Thanks, RB and the Presslys. That was fun. Special thanks to my little guy who may not know how to ask questions yet, but is still the coolest kid in my book.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

I rented my wedding dress.

Some of you may be wondering why I haven't blogged about my plan to try the "Fit back into your wedding dress" challenge (pp. 79-86 of the Feb. issue of REDBOOK). The truth is I rented my wedding dress. And I'm pretty sure I'm smaller now than I was back then. I mean I recently fit back into my 11th grade prom dress and I know I was smaller as a junior than when I got married. Anyway, it seemed pointless as I don't have a wedding dress to compare new me to, and I'm smaller now than 9 1/2 years ago anyway.

I tried thinking of alternative milestone pieces of apparel, but really I don't have anything from my sophomore year, so I don't think that will work. I guess I could shoot for being a size six. It seems totally crazy that I could EVER be a size six. I thought about working towards the goal of buying a bikini for the first time in my life, but my stomach looks like tree bark from all the stretch marks that I don't want to submit anyone to that torture.


Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The workouts I've done so far in February have been stairs, running on treadmill, and weights. I've only done about 2 workouts a week, and I skipped a whole week when things were so busy that I thought I might have a nervous breakdown. It hasn't been an uber successful diet/exercise month, and most importantly, I'm still not 100 percent sure what I want my health goals to be this year. Here's what I'm thinking:

  • Run a 10K this summer 
  • Tone my thighs more so they won't be mistaken for tree trunks 
  • Focus on mental health 
  • Lose the 5 lbs I didn't lose in 2011
  • Try a workout I've never done
  • Try RB fashion tips
  • Wear a bathing suit this summer without board shorts or a sarong. (The idea of that much exposure makes me hyperventilate a little.)
  • Be mistaken for Sarah Michelle Gellar
  • Do something to help other people improve their health
  • Enroll my kids in at least 2 active summer programs
  • Finish my weight loss memoir
    SODA shoes (Click me for link)
While I'm still figuring this out and managing my kids, 3 jobs, and a million daily things, I haven't forgotten about RB. In fact, I've been chowing down on February's SUPERFOOD: Clementines, like they were peanut m&ms. Clementines are so flipping good. They're packed with cold-fighting vitamin C and fiber, and are a great energy booster for a workout (p. 174). My favorite thing about them? It's that my 7 year old can peel them all by herself, something she can't quite do with an orange.

Also, I skipped the box of chocolates this Valentines and got new shoes instead.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Celebrity Interview Tuesday: Blake Shelton

This is a blog post where REDBOOK asks me the same questions they ask their cover celebrity (whether they want to or not).

February's cover celeb is Blake Shelton, country singer and star of The Voice. Questions are asked by Lori Berger on pp. 130-135 of the Feb. 2012 issue of RB. Some questions have been modified slightly. Plus, I'm not a huge country fan, so this could get interesting.

RB: You're known to have quite the potty mouth. How much do you edit yourself?

ME: I edit myself when I'm around my kids. As much as I appreciate the occasional curse, I DO NOT want my children cursing. I also don't swear at work or anywhere that I might run into a spiritual leader. However, it doesn't matter who I'm around, if I'm about to get into a car accident or something equally frightening, I tend to slip. Sometimes I slip during Visit Teaching appointments, but I shrug it off always feel really bad after.

RB: What do you miss most about home?

ME: I've lived in Utah for almost 13 years. That's the longest I've ever lived in one state before. My dad was a G-man so we moved around a lot. Every 4 and 1/2 to 5 years in fact. My parents finally retired here and live less than a mile away from me, and my siblings are all close by except for one. I guess that makes Utah home. Home is wherever family is. You can't miss it if it's right here.

RB: What was it about [Rick] that made you want to spent the rest of your life with [him]? 

ME: He loves me unconditionally and always has. That was a major selling point since I have a LOT of flaws. Also we have the same sense of humor. Rick and I had been best friends for 5 years before we got married. Since our marriage was founded on friendship that makes some of our challenges easier to deal with. We'll always get along even if we're pissed at each other.

RB: What valuable advice did you get from Rick's dad? 

ME: Um...I don't know if he's ever given me advice specifically, but he taught Rick to respect his elders and that is certainly carrying over to our children. They always say "thank you", "excuse me", and "please". They're pretty polite for rug-rats. =)

RB: Do you have a domestic side? 

ME: Yes. Four years of Home Ec. proves that. haha. Actually, my mom and I hemmed 3 skirts yesterday and made 6 loaves of wheat bread from scratch. I'm not even kidding. We did. And before I went over to her house yesterday, I cleaned all 3 bathrooms, did the dishes, and made a grocery list. Probably the only non-domestic thing I did yesterday was finishing up an article for the newspaper. Would it surprise you to learn that I'm a feminist too?

RB: ...

ME: Thought so.

Don't worry. Rick is into sneakers. Not these kinds of shoes.
RB: So on Valentine's Day, did [Rick] get a lovey card from you?

ME: This year we didn't get each other anything. We decided to wait for our tax return to come, and then we'll each go get a new pair of shoes. That's something we have in common. We're both shoe-freaks. But my favorite gift from Rick is when he makes me a homemade card. He has the best drawings and they make me laugh for years afterward. Once he drew me a picture of a Sasquatch, and my daughter thought it was a gingerbread man. Awesome.

RB: You've been named one of [The Redbook Experiment's hottest wives]--

ME: --Really? Wow. Thanks. It's the gams. [nods head.]
Does it matter that I'm the only contributor of TRE? You know what? Nevermind. I'm just going to savor this.

RB: ...but what makes you a good [wife]?

ME: I'm not sure I am one. But I do have great organizational skills. I get a lot done in one day. Did you know I have 3 regular jobs? Yep. I do all that and manage the household. I do taxes, manage the money, help with the homework, read to my kids, exercise regularly, blog regularly on TWO blogs, and write in my free time. It's gets hectic sometimes. Two weeks ago, I presented at a teacher conference at BYU, had parent teacher conferences, a proposal for a Young Writers Camp due, and 2 deadlines. It got pretty crazy that week and ended with a chiropractor visit, but somehow I keep all the balls in the air. Rick is a huge help. And my parents.

Thanks for the interview, RB. I have to get to work now. Chao!

Friday, February 17, 2012

My whole demeanor can be summed up with a shrug.

If you wanted to know what a bout of depression does to a person on a weight loss mission, I can tell you.

I've been depressed for like a month. Almost the whole month of January. I got some news that freaked me out and landed me in the bathroom, back sliding down the wall, face in hands, tears soaking a whole roll of toilet paper. Multiple times. I can't really talk about the news right now, but it pretty much knocked my world off its axis.

I lost so much normalcy that I nearly lost track of myself. I guess it's been building for a year, but this last revelation elbowed me over a mental edge. I decided I might need prescription depression meds since nothing else seemed to be working. I hate the idea of taking pills to feel better. I'm always so afraid that it will one day not be enough. And even though the Prozac is already making me feel like myself again, I take the lowest possible dosage, and I'm already planning the day that I can wean off of the medication. I'm hoping by the summer, I'll be me again sans meds.The sunshine always makes me smile...on the inside too.

One of the side effects of the Prozac is loss of appetite. So even though I sometimes feel like binging, I can't because I'm not hungry. It's nice, but it has a downside. I don't eat healthy regular meals anymore. I eat sporadically and I eat whatever's around when my appetite finally shows up. I haven't gained any weight. I'm still a steady 150 lbs. My workouts have been waning though. I feel as though my happiness is present, but that my motivation is lessened. I'm not sure what that's called. Where general happiness replaces drive and ambition. My whole demeanor can be summed up with a shrug. I hate that feeling. I mean I would if I wasn't so consumed with apathy. Can a person be consumed with apathy?  I don't know, but I do know that I WANT to care again. I want to care about eating right and regular exercise. I want to be back on the schedule I was, instead of still being in my jammies at 12:35pm and totally unmotivated to even take a shower.

I may only be able to handle these "happy" pills for another couple of weeks before I turn into someone else entirely. UGH. They helped stabilize my mental health for a while, but I don't like the exchange rate. It's like I went from Tigger to Eeyore to Pooh. I bet I'll start looking like him too.
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